Belief & Feelings

Belief – and feelings

Written & brought to you by

Ken Crause – Business Transformation Coach.

Despite the fact that people are more educated today than ever, the truth is that we still act on our emotional feelings rather than logic. Even the most educated people in the world make decisions by how they feel. A number of years ago I attended a presentation by a band instructor at my children’s high school. He talked about the advancement of education and the disparity of behaviour of students. He pointed to the fact that sex education has never been more thoroughly taught in school and yet despite the education, teenage pregnancies were on the increase not declining. The question he raised was why? Why indeed? The reality is that when we become emotionally involved logic takes a back seat to our decisions. But more than that, why is teenage pregnancy and adolescent sex on the increase? I believe it is due to the fact that whatever we think about or focus on, affects our emotions and for some their emotions are so strong that nothing will stop them.

What we believe in the depths of our heart will come out in what we say and what we do. It is difficult to pretend for too long and put on a mask of how we really are and how we really feel. We have developed global beliefs about many things and these beliefs affect how we act or react. Let me give you some examples of what I mean.

What do you think when someone mentions politics or a politician? For most we “tar everyone” with the same brush. Liars, self interested, control freaks right?

How about used car salesmen? Also liars right?

How about first nations people? Drunks, drug addicts and lazy people right?

Yet none of these assessments are true though in some cases they may be, but these attributes are not unique to any group of people in particular. Depending on our experiences we will either feel strongly about this or mildly. Some may even have a totally different view of these and other groups. But there are other general beliefs that prevent us from prospering also, and these beliefs once again are gained by experience or through something we heard about or read about and believed. Things like, “Business is down because of the economy”. Really? In the depression of the 1930’s more people became millionaires than in any time in history previously – even through the prosperity years preceding the depression. How about other strong feelings we may have, like “I don’t trust anyone”. Remember that we act out what we believe and reap what we sow. When you don’t trust anyone, guess what? People will begin to distrust you too.

I remember one of my children coming home from school claiming “Nobody likes me”. Well as a parent we know that is not true, but the child honestly “felt” that way. Was it true? No. So we had to help our child past this “belief cemented in her feelings”, to see that maybe there were some people who did in fact like her. How did we do that? We found out who had hurt her and what caused her to come to this conclusion. At no time did we suggest our daughter was silly for feeling that way. YOU CANNOT OVERCOME FEELINGS WITH LOGIC. She had to reconsider her conclusion by interpreting what had just happened as an isolated incident and not indicative of her relationship with everyone. We often misinterpret events just like my daughter did and just like her come to wrong conclusions.

But let’s get to the heart of what we need to learn.

1.      We all have some messed up beliefs that are adversely affecting us.

2.      We need to deliberately change our belief’s in order to grow and become better people.

So how does one go about this? It is far simpler than one would expect actually. It all starts with what we say – both in our heads and with our mouths. For example, if you started saying this “I love people”. At first it would seem a lie since you probably don’t.

Now please pay attention. If you deliberately daily make this statement, your mind is going to look for reasons to love people because it cannot deal with an outright lie – and you will find many reasons. The result is your feelings will change and you will in due course actually feel what you say.

For those of you who have conflicts with a spouse or friend or work associate. Try saying how much you like or love that person – with as much emphasis as you can muster up against your current feelings about that person.

Is it time for some changes in your life? Are you tired of the “same old, same old?” You can literally turn the page in your life starting today simply by changing what you say, which will change how you feel, which in turn will change your experience for the better.

Out of the mouth proceed all the issues of life. The tongue is the only member of our body we have a hard time controlling. It can either make your life better or worse. The choice is yours. Psychologists have proven time and again that what we say to ourselves is an indicator of our belief system and it is that belief that will either yield good things or evil in our lives. So what do you tell yourself?

Ken Crause – Business Transformation Coach

Email: ken@btfellowship.org